What happens in Mexico... doesn't stay in Mexico!!!

Well, it's been a few weeks since we all returned from our Mexico Mission, and I think I might finally be at the point where I can talk about the trip without overwhelming myself with missing everyone, and wanting so badly to be back there. I still miss everyone, of course, and I definitely want to go back, but I'm back to the same old normal that life typically consists of, and I've stopped resisting that. Hopefully, at the same time, I've been able to retain what God taught me in Mexico this year. When we first got back, I didn't want to unpack, because that was acknowledging that I was home. (It was the bugs that finally made me do it... the thought that there may be tons of icky bugs, and spiders, and snakefrogs in my suitcase, waiting to be let loose in my house... :) some of you can hear me screaming right now...and you're laughing at me. It's OK, so am I.) When we first got back, I didn't want to talk about the trip to anyone who hadn't been with us... because most of the time, words can't even begin to express anything about the trip. People who aren't there don't understand exactly why you went... lots of times we ourselves don't understand why we went until we get there. People who weren't there don't remember the sunsets, the rain, the bugs, the smells, the people, the stars, the kids, the stories, the jokes. Sometimes they can't get past the pictures of mattresses on the floor, scorpions, cement showers, and bathrooms that you have to walk outside to get to! They don't understand how none of that matters at all when you see the kids laughing, or see how some of the people down there live their everyday lives. They don't understand how one trip can completely change you, refresh you, remind you that you're not alone on this earth. They don't understand how freeing it is to spend a week thinking only of other people, and nothing of yourself. They don't understand the blessing in sacrificing comfort and material amenities. They don't understand how one smile, one tear from someone who comes to know more of God's love because of you can make your day, your week, your year.

All those things make it hard to leave each year, and harder to come back to normal life. Harder to go back to work. Harder to take care of the mundane, when you've spent a week amidst miracles... This year, for me, it was harder to come back than it has been in the past. I'm not quite sure why, but it was. My first week back to work, I mostly tried not to cry each day, and kept myself busy enough that I didn't really have time to think. I was working on a project with my boss, and in talking one day about different ideas and methods, she said, "Brooke, that's a good idea. You need to go to Mexico more often!" (Clearly, I had no good ideas BEFORE Mexico!!) Seriously though, when we go away on trips like this one, people around us expect something when we come back. I had been busy hating work, and thinking about how stupid and pointless it is in the grand scheme of things, and my boss was thinking that there was something different about me. They may not understand why we go, or HOW it happens, but they expect us to be different when we return. So often, we are the last ones to see the change within ourselves. We know it happened, cause we experienced it, felt it, and believe it. But sometimes, we get stuck wondering, "Lord, where are the effects of that change?" Inside, we feel like the same old normal, doing the same old mundane things we did before we left. But if we allow Him to, God will change us whenever and whereever He can, and for some reason it's easier on trips like this. But the changes don't stay in Mexico. We will be changed in the U.S. as much as Mexico; in the office as much as the desert, in our homes as much as the dormitories. And if we'll allow Him, He will use those changes to affect the people around us. They will take notice, and they will wonder... "what is it about Mexico?" And when that happens, hopefully it's after the withdrawals, and we can speak with joy instead of sadness. Hopefully we can speak His Truth, and hopefully our emotions will compliment that Truth, and not compromise it. Hopefully, brilliant ideas about data and mailings will not be the only change that people notice about me. Hopefully, they will ask me, "How was Mexico; what's diffrent about you?" And hopefully, I'll have the words to explain it to them, exactly the way God wants them to hear it.

-brooke